Romans 5:5

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.







Monday, March 28, 2011

I need not understand

What is going on??
I have discovered love that I thought would never come, I have emptied the dumpster of my piled up heart-garbage, I have been allowed and held back...so much to think about in the past few days. Now I stand, having made the decision to obey, but unsure of how to do it. How can I feel one thing and do another? I have relied upon my emotions and "trusted my heart" for so long that even though I have peace about my decision, I struggle with the application. I can "do" and "not do" things easily, but what of my feelings and thoughts? Are they not just as powerful as the actions?

I know that God has given me the ability to obey - to walk it out. My confusion is His understanding. My weakness is His strength. My doubt is His assurance. He has a plan for me, and it is great. He knows that my heart is for His will, and that I really do want Him more than anything or anyone. My Jesus is jealous for me, and wants me to go to HIM for comfort and love. And I want Him! I need Him! I cannot love another person if I do not love God with my whole heart first!!

Oh Abba, I long for Your embrace! To feel you in every move I make. I am sorry for even thinking about loving someone more than You. The very idea hurts me, so it must hurt You much more. I do not know what You are doing or why, but I know that You are good, and that you love us. If we surrender our desires to You, then we will find peace. Not only that, but we will live with confidence, and living as a testimony of your power. Thank You for speaking to my heart and making things line up so we are on the same page. Even when nothing makes sense to me, You bring amazing things out of these situations.
Lord, I commit my heart to Your leanings, and I will seek Your desires. I commit the one I love to You, trusting that you will use him mightily, because You have called him. Increase his faith oh Father; bless him beyond his understanding.

Jesus you are worthy of my life, so I give it to you. Every part of it, no matter what. I love you Daddy. Glory to You!
So be it.

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