God uses the reluctant

When Moses heard God say that he was to go to Pharoah, and demand that his slaves be set free, all of his fears and insecurities rose up. He argued with God, saying that he was not the man for the job. He was not eloquent, he was nobody important; he was scared stiff. After God assured Moses that He would help him, and assigned Aaron to be his speaker, the shepherd in the desert finally gave in and did what he was asked.

What difference would there have been if Moses had not been reluctant when God called him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt? I've heard it said that God does not look for ability, but for availability. Moses did not think he was able, and at first, he did not seem available in the sense that he did not have a willing attitude. God can call me to somet,hing that feels very odd and scary to me. He calls me to do things that I cannot do on my own. I simply can't. Why does he do that? Because He knows that I will have to depend completely on Him! When He called Moses, He did not expect Moses to be able to lead the Israelites by himself. God knew that he would be afraid and reluctant. Moses' fear provided an opportunity for God to be glorified.

Red Apathy

During a worship service tonight, God played out something in my mind that brought me unspeakable joy and refreshment. When I went to write it all down in my journal, it came out as a poem.The words do not give the full detail of what I saw, but here it is.

Feild of red apathy
In comes a dark intruder
Fear and hatred set in
All becomes black.

Down falls the Rock of Ages

Blood cascades and darkness is crushed.

Light shines all around
Butterflies arise from the feild
New life fills the air
Beauty released by the Rock of Ages

The 'red apathy' and 'darkness' in the poem were actually ladybugs in my vision. I don't know if there is any significance to this...does anyone know?

Will He guard me?

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like screaming, complaining, or crying for no apparent reason? I know that at least all females will answer yes to that, and maybe some men as well. It really is a scary feeling, and rather a nuisance. One little thing triggers one little thought that in turn ruins my attitude for the whole day. This is not how I want to live.
The Bible tells me to guard my heart and tame my tongue. I can tame my tongue with too much trouble - I shut my mouth and keep completely quiet (sometimes to the extent where I build up pride for my "matureness" in handling myself well). But guarding my heart is something which I find very difficult. Especially being in the city, there are many things that come up which threaten the purity of my thoughts, and in turn, my heart. How do I guard my heart from shame? Jealousy? Apathy? Bitterness? Lust?
God promises to keep us safe and to bring us victory. This morning, on my way to church, I read Psalm 91. Read the whole chapter and you will see the promises. Here are a few which I find especially encouraging.

Ps 91:3"Surely He shall deviler you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under his wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler."
 91:13-15 "You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honour him."

Ps 93:4 "The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, than the mighty waves of the sea."

you and me

It's You and me,
and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off you.

I was meditating on these words, and I figured out why I am always attracted to this song. It was written in relation to a girl, but what if I sing it to God?
Being in NYC and seeing all of the people here - all so unique and interesting with their individual stories - I am starting to understand that they represent my heavenly Father. As Christians, we hear all the time that we are made in the image of God and represent Christ. But rarely do we apply that to other people. 'If they are not Christians, they do not represent Christ at all.' That is our mindset. We may not admit it, but I am admitting it because it has been true for me. God made ALL mankind in His image, whether they have chosen to accept Him yet or not. As we grow in relationship with Him, we are conformed even more to Jesus Christ's image (this should be our goal). So do not despise the seed that has not sprouted yet.
Anyway, my point is, that when I see 'all of the people', I see God! I see His creation! That is why I can't keep my eyes off of You! Every time I look at someone's face, I look at the handiwork and earthly representations of my God.

We are all homeless

Going out and meeting the needs of the men and women who live on the streets of New York City has completely changed my perspective on life. These are people who at one time had a life like mine - some even better off- and are now living with nothing but themselves. Even so, they have strong minds and opinions. They have not lost their potential just because they are homeless. One of my friends asked me the other day, "How can we worship a homeless man on Sunday and ignore a homeless man on Monday?"
We met a man named Eddie who was sleeping on the steps of a church. We saw so many wealthy people pass by, and look confusedly at us because we were talking to a homeless man. Others completely ignored us. They were too busy to care about Eddie. I wonder how many of those people attend a church on Sunday, and worship Jesus? He was homeless. He said Himself that this world was not his home; that His Father is in heaven. We are the same, if we have accepted Jesus into our lives. We are all homeless. So then, let us begin to practice what we have been taught since childhood:
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
"Love your neighbor as yourself."

In HIs World

I have decided to let the blogging world into my world. Well, it's more like God's world....not mine. He just loves me so much that He put me in it.