I have succeeded in accomplishing one, and now two of what my father calls "Passages into Adulthood". For the last four or so months, the majority of my income has gone into putting gasoline into my car. Today, I went off the road into a ditch and had to have it towed out. If all of the passages into adulthood are like this, I think I'd rather go back to being a kid.
It's funny though, even as I was sliding on the road, and down into the ditch, I thought, "I don't think the car is going to flip over." I was scared for sure, but somehow I knew that I was going to be alright. A little peace in the midst of a storm, you know? I did feel shocked, and now trying to remember what happened...I don't know how my car ended up facing the opposite direction from which I was coming. All I remember is praying out loud, "No Jesus, please!", losing control of the car, and being shaken and bumped as I went down. Horrifying. But I am alive. My car is fixable. No one else got hurt.
Of course, I did not feel this calm and positive during the hour that followed the accident. After sitting in a kind police woman's car for about 20 minutes, I got into my mother's car and cried. hard. I was ashamed that I forgot how to handle my car. I was sorry for causing damage to my first car. I felt guilty for bringing another expense to my family. I was disappointed that I could not make it to my internship or my best friend's house. I had been holding in my shock, so that people passing by and the police would not feel too much pity for me. I am independent, I don't like to attract attention(Good luck with that, being off the road on an on-ramp to Rt 490).
When I first got out of my car, I saw the damage done and right away thanked God that I was unharmed. Knowing people who have been in accidents and gotten seriously injured, I was very grateful that I was protected!
That was my day. Since then I have stayed inside; no desire to go anywhere :)
So what's next God?
