I just finished watching a movie about the man who assassinated Jesse James. Yes, Jesse James who killed 17 plus men and robbed 25 trains and banks in the 1880's. Not the kind of person who you'd want to cross. Not the world's most merciful or benevolent man. Yet this film made you see beyond his infamous acts. His humanity was portrayed in a way that made you almost feel sorry for him, and despise the man who killed him. Yet you also felt sorry for the assassin, for they portrayed his humanity and very hard choices he had to make. He was a member of Jesse's gang, and a long time, hard-core admirer of the outlaw. Like a young boy obsessed with Batman or Spiderman, Bob Ford tried his hardest to be like his hero. To win Jesse James' respect was Ford's goal, so that he too could be noticed for his courage and skill. But when the respect was not given, and jealousy mixed with suspicion, the admiration turned into crippling fear and hate. His hero became his enemy and his desire for fame overrode his loyalty. And so Bob Ford took it upon himself to carry out what some a man's final judgment. The murderer was killed, by another murderer.
Knowing that this story is true, that those people actually existed and lived and died in that way, has a sobering effect on me. After trying and failing to determine which man was more wrong, or who was more deserving, or innocent, I realize something. When you exalt another person to a place of greatness in your eyes, no matter how good or noble that person is, it has the potential, if not the guarantee, to turn to obsession. No human being is greater than his human nature (only God is), and when that hero falls, you are apt to fall in like manner. I do not mean that you will willingly go and do the same exact bad things. However, if your respect for your fallen hero turns to disgrace or bitterness, you are just as capable of doing the same evil as the person you are embarrassed of. Fear grips every heart that has lost its role model, and if not harnessed, that fear can poison the heart to the point of destruction of self or others. This is why you must not place your life's focus on any human being. Dedication, loyalty, love, passion, these are qualities which are good and even necessary. However, be careful that those qualities do not overpower honesty, integrity and humbleness. Praise was not made to be given to men, but to God. Obsession with anything but God is dangerous, because all other things are bound to fail you and thus put you in danger of following suite.
To anyone reading this, let me ask you a few questions. These are also questions which I must ask myself. If you heard two names - the name of someone you loved and respected and admired (a spouse, friend,role model, or even a hobby), and the name of Jesus Christ - at which name would your heart leap? Which person (or thing) would you have more to say about to others? Which one would you spend the rest of the day thinking about?
Which one would you follow til the end of your days?
Which one is more worthy?
Which one will bring you life when all else in you has died?
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